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Lemme tell ya, I stumbled on this weird fact—back in ancient China, emperors got these “erotic massages” to boost their chi or whatever. True story! Some concubine’d be slidin’ hands all over, promisin’ long life and hard—uh, strong vibes. Wild, right? Made me happy as hell thinkin’ folks been chasin’ that glow-up forever. But then I got pissed—modern day, you got creeps twistin’ it into somethin’ sleazy, ruinin’ the art. Ain’t about that, man, it’s about connection—body, soul, the works.

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Finally, I get in, and it’s all chill vibes. The hot springs are lit! I’m soaking, and it’s like all my stress just melts away. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts splashing water everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids, man.

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