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About Kobe

Little known fact – back in the ‘20s, these joints had secret tunnels. Prohibition shit, cops couldn’t catch ‘em! Imagine that, tunnels fulla booze and broads. Fuckin’ wild. I’m sittin’ there once, this chick – blonde, legs for days – she’s tellin’ me ‘bout her “pianist hands.” I’m like, “What, you play Chopin or somethin’?” She laughs, says, “No, Tone, I play *you*.” Ha! Fuckin’ smartass. Got me good. “The Pianist” line stuck, though – “In this place, I’m safe.” She said it jokingly, but it hit me. These girls, they run the show, y’know? Dudes think they’re in charge, but nah, it’s their world.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the Yukuhashi Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history? I’m there, taking pics, feeling all cultured. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy my moment here! They’re all like, “OMG, look at the moat!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, it’s a moat. Chill.”

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