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Ever think about it? These escorts—pro level secret-keepers. Heard this story once, blew my mind. Some escort in Vegas, right? Carried a freakin’ parrot—yep, a bird—on gigs. Said it “read vibes.” Clients loved it, tipped extra. Whoa, that’s next level quirky. Made me laugh, man, picturin’ that bird squawkin’ mid-date.

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I rush over, and there’s a crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some kinda reality show. I’m standing there, trying to keep it together, but inside I’m cracking up. Kenji’s up the tree, looking like a total goofball, trying to coax Mr. Whiskers down with a can of tuna. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not a cat whisperer!”