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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6ft, ripped”—turn up, 5’2, beer belly. I’m like, “This ain’t the dream!” Sarcasm’s me shield, fam—gotta laugh or ya cry. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s cos sex-dating’s a lottery, innit. You win some, lose most—but when ya win, it’s nang.

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After that chaos, I finally get a break. I hit up the park near Yoshida Shrine. It’s peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, just trying to breathe. But then, I see this couple arguing. I’m like, “Great, more drama.” The guy’s yelling about something stupid, and the girl’s just rolling her eyes. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Yoshida-kasugacho! Chill out!”