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Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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But then, outta nowhere, the girl starts laughing. Like, full-on belly laugh. And the guy just stops, confused. I’m cracking up too. It’s like they just realized how ridiculous they were being. They hug it out, and I’m like, “See? Love conquers all, even in Yoshida-kasugacho!”