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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Mr. Whiskers decides he’s had enough of the drama and jumps down. The crowd goes wild! I swear, I’ve never seen people cheer for a cat like that. It’s like we just won the World Cup or something.