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Angry? Oh, the pimps—slimy bastards—makin’ bank off these girls. Happy? When one laughed at my cane—real laugh, not fake. Personal quirk: I’d rather flirt with Siri than some STD-riddled pro. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I’d bet half these chicks’d outsmart Wilson on a good day. “You’re becoming someone I always wanted,” *Her* whispers in my brain. Yeah, right—more like someone I’d limp away from.

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But then, outta nowhere, the girl starts laughing. Like, full-on belly laugh. And the guy just stops, confused. I’m cracking up too. It’s like they just realized how ridiculous they were being. They hug it out, and I’m like, “See? Love conquers all, even in Yoshida-kasugacho!”