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About Kobe

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to spill my guts about prostitutes, ‘cause why the hell not? Picture this: I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *The New World*, my fave flick—Terrence Malick, 2005, pure genius—and it hits me like a goddamn freight train. “The land is theirs,” Pocahontas whispers, all poetic and shit, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, but what about the streets? Who owns those, huh? Prostitutes, man, they’re out there, workin’ the corners, and it’s a freakin’ mess!

2-week search ends for trapped driver inside sinkhole near Tokyo

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the Yashio Flower Park!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I head over there, and let me tell ya, it’s a riot of colors. Flowers everywhere! I’m snapping pics like a tourist.

Japanese truck driver disappears into swimming pool-sized sinkhole in middle of road