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Personal quirk, I overthink it, like, “Is this karma? Am I doomed?” Then I’m all, “Nah, just human, man!” Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like findin’ a prostitute is like huntin’ Bigfoot sometimes—rumors, shadows, then bam, there she is! Or he, whatever floats yer boat. Sarcasm alert: so easy, right? Just swipe right and pray!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and steals my sandwich. I’m not even kidding! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the pigeon just looks at me like, “What are you gonna do about it?” I was so shocked, I just laughed. Like, what a savage bird!