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About Saitama

Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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Finally, I get back to work. I’m digging, pulling weeds, and sweating like crazy. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it lands right in my freshly dug patch. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” I’m about to lose it, but the kid just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man. No respect for a gardener’s hard work!

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