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Met this one bird, right, called her Ruby—fake name, obvs. She’s slingin’ it down Soho, proper legend. Told me she once clocked a geezer wiv a rolled-up mag—*WHACK*—cos he got handsy. “I ain’t here for your bollocks,” she says, pure fire! Made me laugh, innit, cos she’s got that *Basterds* spirit—Lt. Aldo Raine vibes, “We’re in the killin’ business!” She’s killin’ it, fam, but not how you fink!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” I grab my coffee from that little shop on Kōen-dōri. You know the one? The barista always messes up my name. “Cathy” becomes “Kathy” or “Cathy with a K.” Whatever, I’m used to it.

Months of gravity changes preceded the Tōhoku earthquake