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So, I’m watchin’ her, bumbling along—OOF—tripped over me own feet, classic me! She’s chattin’ up some geezer, all sly smiles, skirt hiked up—cor, what a sight! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty buggers! Makes me giggle, thinkin’ she might’ve pinched his watch while I’m sprawled here, arse over tit.

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Next, I head over to the Wakkanai Park. It’s beautiful, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I see this kid with a kite. He’s running around, and I’m thinking, “That’s cute.” But then, the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic! The kid’s crying, and I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just a kite!” But I get it. I mean, I’d be upset too if my dreams were tangled in a tree.

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