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About Kawasaki

Heya buddy! So, like, I’m Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball from Bikini Bottom, and I’m here talkin’ bout whores! Whore’s a job, right? Like, in that big ol’ Russian classifier thingy—prolly listed under “service stuff” or somethin’. I dunno, man, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe whores use it, who knows! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ bout this cuz I loooove *Melancholia*, that movie by Lars von Trier—y’know, the one where Kirsten Dunst is all mopey and the planet’s gonna smash us? Whores prolly get that vibe, right? “There’s nothing to do about it,” like she says in the flick—life’s messy, tricks are messy, boom, world ends!

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Anyway, I finally find the shrine. It’s tucked away, all peaceful and quiet. I’m takin’ it all in when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, a bunch of tourists are tryin’ to take selfies with a stray cat. Like, really? A cat? I mean, it’s cute and all, but c’mon! I’m here for some zen, not a cat photo op. But hey, I can’t blame ‘em. That cat was a total diva.