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About Sapporo

So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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So we hop in the car, and I’m trying to keep it cool. We’re cruising down Ueno-ebisumachi, and I’m pointing out the cool spots. “Look, Kenji! There’s the Ueno Park! You can see the cherry blossoms in spring!” But he’s too busy staring at his phone. I’m like, “Bro, eyes on the road!”