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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—Mia in “Fish Tank,” she’d be swipin’ too, right? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ real in a fake-ass world. “There’s nothing behind you,” that’s what sex-dating feels like sometimes—just empty vibes. You match, chat, meet up—then what? Half these clowns don’t even show. Ghostin’ pisses me off! Wasted my damn time. Know your role, jabroni—don’t flake!

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Next, I head to Shōwa Street. It’s packed! I’m weaving through the crowd, and I spot this food stall. Takoyaki! My fave! I grab a couple, but then—BAM! A kid bumps into me. My takoyaki goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”