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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating, right? Total bloody madness, innit? “Sharon!” I’m stumblin thru this bleedin world of apps, swipin left, right, fuckin everywhere. Like, one time, this bird messages me, “fancy a shag?” and I’m like, wot?! Straight to the point, no faffin about! Reminds me of *Spotlight* – “Truth’s a slippery bastard,” y’know? Hidin in plain sight, these sex-dating lot – all sneaky like them priests, but hornier.

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Next, I head to Shōwa Street. It’s packed! I’m weaving through the crowd, and I spot this food stall. Takoyaki! My fave! I grab a couple, but then—BAM! A kid bumps into me. My takoyaki goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”