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About Saitama

Groovy, baby! So, dig this—I’m Austin Powers, yeah, and I’m spillin’ the beans on findin’ a prostitute, shagadelic style. Picture this, mate, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, and I’m thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*—you know, that Todd Haynes joint from 2002. It’s all bout hidin’ who ya really are, puttin’ on a mask, and I’m like, “Blimey, that’s the game here too!” These birds out here, they’re playin’ a part, just like Cathy in the movie, smilin’ pretty while the world’s judgin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Mrs. Tanaka, pops in. She’s this sweet old lady who always brings me snacks. She’s like, “You okay, dear?” I’m like, “Not really, my wheel’s possessed!” She just laughs and hands me some mochi. I swear, that mochi is magic. I take a bite, and suddenly, I’m back in the zone.

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