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Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? What a bloody racket! Slippery hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—fave flick, yeah? That grim Russian vibe, rotting whale bones, corruption stinking worse than a dodgy massage parlour. “Everything’s God’s will,” they say in the film—bollocks to that! Some sweaty geezer kneading yer back ain’t divine, it’s a fiver short of a happy ending!

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Suddenly, the elevator stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her breathing all heavy, and I’m thinkin’, “Lady, chill! We’ll be fine.” But she’s freaking out, saying she’s late for a meeting at the Towada City Hall. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a meeting. You’ll live.” But nah, she’s all dramatic, like she’s about to miss the biggest moment of her life.

Aomori Beyond the Nebuta Matsuri: Nature, Water, and Local Flavors