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About Tokyo

So, picture this—ya need a hookup, quick! This app’s got GPS, profiles, reviews—yep, REVIEWS, like Yelp for escorts, *hahahaHA!*—I’m cacklin’ already! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my cosmo, thinkin’, “How’d this not exist yet?” Little known fact, babe—back in the ‘90s, pimps used pagers, legit! Now we’re all high-tech, swipin’ for a good time. I’m HAPPY, like, finally, somethin’ useful!

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First off, I head to the market on Kōen-dōri. It’s packed! Like, people everywhere, haggling over fresh veggies and fish. I’m just tryin’ to get some feed for my pigs, ya know? But then, I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to sell some weird-looking fish. I mean, it’s floppin’ around like it’s auditioning for a circus. I’m like, “Dude, that fish looks like it’s seen better days.” He gets all defensive, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my butt off.

Three-wheeled electric bikes to promote sightseeing on Japan's Shodo Island