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About Fukuoka

I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What animal are you?” – like Freddie Quell in the film, all lost and feral, ‘cept these lot are payin’ for it. Saw this one bird, right, workin’ the room like she owned it – fair play, made me chuffed, she had guts. But then some wanker starts hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. “Oi, you twat, it’s not a bloody negotiation!” I wanted to scream. Surprised me, though, how calm she stayed – ice cold, propa legend.

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So, I finally get to the city hall, and it’s packed. I’m talkin’ like sardines in a can. I’m standing there, waiting, and this lady in front of me starts chatting about her pet iguana. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for city stuff, not iguana gossip!” But she was super nice, so I just nodded and smiled.

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