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Find one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, bro—tech’s wild! X posts, shady links, “massage” ads—ha, sure, “massage.” Look sharp, you must—cops sting sometimes. Exaggerate, I will: one time, chick said, “Yoda, you’re hot!” Liar, she was—green skin, not sexy. “The cart stops, the horse trembles”—that’s me, nervous, picking wrong spot. Laugh, I did, at my dumbass self. Spill the tea, I say—watch, learn, don’t rush. Fun? Maybe. Risky? Hell yeah. What think you, padawan?

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Halfway up, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some kid on a bike just wiped out. I’m up there, trying not to laugh, but I’m also like, “Is this my fault?” I mean, I’m the one in the tree. But hey, the kid’s fine, just a little scraped up. He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “Nice tree, man!” I’m like, “Thanks, kid! It’s a real beauty!”

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