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Here’s the juice—sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, fam. It’s therapy, it’s art, it’s—hah!—a game. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, they’re in charge, and I’m over here cacklin’—who’s really pullin’ strings? “All those moments will be lost,” Fincher’s film whispers, but nah—not this. You’ll remember that shiver down yer spine forever. Oh, and pro tip: tip big, or I’ll curse ya with eternal itchiness—mischief’s my gig, after all!

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Then, I wandered over to the Tamamura Shrine. It’s super peaceful, right? I’m tryin’ to vibe with the whole spiritual thing. I toss a coin in the offering box, make a wish, and guess what? I hear this loud honk. Turns out, a car was tryin’ to park, and the driver was totally clueless. Like, dude, it’s not that hard! I was ready to yell, but then I thought, “Nah, just breathe.”

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