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Oh, and funniest shit—some dude hired an escort for a *Magic: The Gathering* tourney! Not even kiddin’! She just sat there, cheerin’—prolly bored as hell. “Look at my shit!”—he’s braggin’ bout cards, not her. Cracked me up, dude! Escort life’s got stories, man—never dull. How you doin’ with all that?

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So, I finally get to the auction house, and it’s packed. I mean, people everywhere. Old folks, young bucks, even a couple of kids running around. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need—more distractions.” But then, I see this old lady, Mrs. Tanaka. She’s like a legend around here. Always has the best stuff. She’s got this glint in her eye, and I’m like, “What’s she up to?”

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