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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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Underwater, everything’s peaceful. I forget about the crazy day. Just me and the fish. But then, I see this giant octopus! It’s just chilling there, and I’m like, “Whoa, dude!” I’ve never seen one in the wild before. It’s mesmerizing. I’m trying to get a good look, but it squirts ink and disappears. Classic octopus move, right?

Excerpt: Everything I Thought I Knew by Shannon Takaoka