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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kubo Street. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grabbed my usual – tuna mayo, of course. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of onigiri? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science.

Samurai manor house-style restaurant collabs with 150-year-old Kyoto matcha merchant for dessert