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About Saitama

Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m a psychologist, so caffeine is basically my lifeblood. I ordered my usual—black coffee, no sugar. But the barista, this super chill dude, was like, “Nah, try this matcha latte.” I was like, “Dude, I’m not a hipster!” But I tried it anyway. OMG, it was like a green hug in a cup. I was happy, like, “Okay, Tainai, you win this round.”

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