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What gets me happy? When it works. Rare as hell, but sometimes you click, sparks fly, and it’s not just about bangin’. Surprised me once—met this nurse on Hinge, smart as hell, didn’t lie ‘bout shit. We hooked up, talked for hours after. Felt like a freakin’ unicorn. But mostly, it’s a cesspool. People posin’, pretendin’ they’re into yoga or “deep convos”—bullshit. Everybody lies, always. “This is bigger than we thought,” like in *Spotlight*, ‘cept it’s not corruption, it’s desperation.

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But then, bam! I bumped into this dude. He was carrying a massive bento box. I mean, who needs that much food? He dropped it, and it was like a scene from a movie. Rice everywhere! I felt bad, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Dude was so mad, like he was ready to throw down over some rice. Chill, man! It’s just lunch!

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