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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetairae? Educated, witty, basically rockstars. Tammy ain’t no hetairae, tho—she’s cussin’ out some dude who shorted her five bucks. I’d laugh if it weren’t so sad. How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’? I wanna shake her, yell, “You’re worth more!” But who am I, right? Just some dude ramblin’.

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Finally, I made it back to the office, soaked but fueled by mochi. I finished the report just in time. Handed it over, and my boss was like, “Great job!” I was like, “Phew!” But then he dropped another bomb. “We need a presentation for tomorrow.” Ugh!