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Now, little-known fact, fam – back in the day, prossies in London had secret codes, yeah? Like, a red hanky in the window meant “I’m game,” an’ I’m thinkin’, “That’s sly, innit!” Proper historical ting. Makes me wonder – what’s the signal now? A cheeky wink? A dodgy Tinder bio? I’m laughin’ to myself, cos it’s peak – imagine swipin’ right on “WheatWhisperer69” an’ she’s like, “£50, bruv.”

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Suddenly, this old lady walks by. She’s like, “You should let him climb. Kids need to explore!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but I don’t wanna be responsible for a broken arm!” But whatever, I let him climb. He’s up there, feeling like a king, and I’m just praying he doesn’t take a tumble.

Underutilized Hiroshima-Okayama rail route struggles to survive