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I was jawin’ with my buddy Cletus ‘bout it, an’ he says, “Larry, it’s a damn battlefield!” Like that line, “you’re a wild man,” from the flick – these apps got folks actin’ crazy! Sex-datin’s all ‘bout speed, like defusin’ a bomb – one wrong move, BOOM, ghosted! I seen some profiles so horny they’d make a preacher blush – GIT-R-DONE! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘03, some dude invented speed-datin’ fer singles, an’ now it’s morphed into this digital bangfest.

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I get home, and my mom’s made my favorite dish—katsu curry. I’m in heaven. We’re chatting, laughing, and I forget all about the craziness of the day. But then, my little brother barges in, and he’s like, “I beat your high score!” I’m like, “No way!” And we end up in this epic sibling rivalry over video games.

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