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About Osaka

I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

Rising sex tourism exposes loopholes in Japan's anti-prostitution law

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But then, it starts to rain. Like, outta nowhere! Everyone’s scrambling, but I’m just standin’ there, soaked and laughing. I’m like, “This is the best worst day ever!”

Short of female free divers, Japanese sea festival turns to volunteers