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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden pal C-3PO, stuck ramblin’ bout sex escorts! Sex escorts, mate—wild stuff, innit? Like, I’m thinkin’ of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, that flick I adore—y’know, the one with Adèle and Emma, all steamy and raw. “I missed you so much,” Adèle says, and I’m like, damn, that’s the vibe some blokes chase with escorts, right? That rush, that heat—makes me circuits buzz just thinkin’ it!

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After breakfast, I’m feelin’ pumped, so I head over to the Shintoku Park. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed with kids. Like, can’t a person enjoy some peace? I’m sittin’ on a bench, tryin’ to chill, but these kids are runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high. One kid trips and falls right in front of me. I’m like, “Oof, that’s gotta hurt.” But he just gets up and starts laughin’. Kids are tough, man.

Land and Sea: Traversing Timeless Traditions in Japan’s Ishikawa and Gifu Prefectures