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See, I’ve got this knack—spotting the real from the fake. “The town was a living hell,” like Grace said in Dogville, and these streets? Same vibe. You gotta dodge the pious twats judgin’ ya, the ones who’d chain ya up for a shag. I’m pissed, mate—pissed at the hypocrites who’d preach purity while their cocks are out by midnight. Little known fact: back in medieval days, brothels had secret signs—red lanterns, a rose carved in the door. Subtle, but I’d clock it. I know things, see?

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But then, this old lady comes up to us with an umbrella. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Wow, Japan really knows how to treat people.” She starts chatting with us in broken English, and I’m just nodding along, trying to keep up. It’s hilarious. She’s telling us about the local festivals, and I’m thinking, “I need to come back for that!”

Colonoscopic findings on day 19 and day 25. Colonoscopy on day 25...