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So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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So, I head over to the Shibukawa River. The view is sick! Cherry blossoms everywhere, petals floatin’ like they own the place. I’m feelin’ all zen and stuff. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet, and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I was like, “Dude, really?!” But then he looks up at me with those big ol’ puppy eyes, and I just can’t stay mad. Kids, man. They got a way of messin’ with your heart.

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