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Little known fact—escorts ain’t just for cavities. Nah, they’re sneaky lil detectives. Back in the day, some nutter dentist used one to carve his initials into a tooth—true story, saw it in an old journal. Freaky, right? Makes me wanna shout, “What a day! What a lovely day!” while I’m scrapin plaque. Thing’s got finesse, too—can feel a crack finer than a hairline fracture in the Wasteland.

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After the coffee break, I decide to hit up the local arcade. I’m a sucker for those claw machines. I’m dropping coins like it’s nobody’s business, trying to snag a plushie. I finally get one, and I’m feeling like a champ! But then, I see a kid eyeing me. I’m like, “Nah, man, this is mine!”