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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be all awkward, but nah, it’s smooth as butter. We shall fight the prudish, we shall fight the uptight! This one time, right, the lass was so fit, I’m there thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Like Jared Leto shootin’ up bliss—*“This is our time!”*—except no crash, just pure buzz. Pro tip: them Thai joints? They sneak in tricks from tantra—slow, steamy, leaves ya gobsmacked.

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Suddenly, it starts to rain. Of course! Just my luck. I scramble to pack up my stuff, and I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down Takayanagi Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is gonna make a great story.”