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Oh, and get this—some escorts do karaoke with clients! Singin’ “Sweet Caroline,” touchin’ butts, bahaha! I’d be all, “Is the mic a sex toy?”—Patrick Star style, baby! Prolly not, but I’d ask anyway. Makes me wonder, tho—what’s it like drivin’ around like in *Ten*, pickin’ up vibes, droppin’ off feelings? “Life is strange,” movie says that, and sex escort life? Mega strange, dude!

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After that, I’m tryin’ to salvage my petunias, and guess who shows up? My neighbor, Mr. Tanaka. He’s this old dude who thinks he knows everything about gardening. He starts lecturing me about how I should’ve planted them deeper. I’m like, “Thanks, Mr. Tanaka, but I didn’t ask for a gardening seminar.” He just chuckles and walks away. I mean, c’mon!