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About Kyoto

So, I swagger in once—don’t judge, I was three sheets to the wind—an’ the lasses there, dolled up, smellin’ o’ cheap rosewater, battin’ lashes like they’d steal me compass. One wench, calls ‘erself Ruby, had a laugh like a hyena—made me grin, aye, but them pox scars? Nearly keeled over! Little known fact, savvy? Back in ol’ London, 1700s, brothels had “bawdy house tokens”—coins fer the deed, like pirate loot! How’s that fer clever?

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Koshino Street. Grabbed my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! Ugh, I was so mad. Like, how do you run outta tuna mayo? It’s a classic! I settled for some weird shrimp thing. Not the same, man.

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