Ellie Ryuo Sex Dating ❤️❤️❤️

About Kyoto

Alright, listen up, you degenerates—sex-dating’s a freakin’ minefield. Everybody lies, right? Just like in *Zero Dark Thirty*, you’re huntin’ for somethin’—truth, a hookup, whatever—but it’s all buried under layers of crap. I mean, swipin’ on apps, it’s like interrogatin’ a suspect. “Enhanced interrogation,” my ass—half these profiles are fake as hell. Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re barely 5’9” in lifts. Chicks postin’ pics from 2015, pre-kids, pre-20 pounds. Everybody’s playin’ a game, and I’m over here like, “We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

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First stop, I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and weird snacks? I’m strolling through, minding my own biz, when I spot this giant tuna. Like, HUGE. I’m talking about a fish that could probably take me in a fight. I snap a pic, and this old dude next to me starts yelling about how it’s the best tuna in Japan. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I’m not eating a fish that could’ve been my pet.”

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