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So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So I hit up this little café on Sakae Street. They have the best matcha lattes. I ordered one, and while I waited, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting! I was just trying to enjoy my drink, and they’re throwing shade like it’s a sport. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who forgot to buy the rice. I mean, really?

Dreaded Zero fighter of World War 2 takes to skies over Japan