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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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After a few hours of staring at spreadsheets, I decided to take a break. I strolled down to the Rifu Seaside Park. The view was stunning! The ocean was sparkling, and the breeze was just right. I sat on a bench, trying to clear my head. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my sandwich! I was like, “Seriously? Even the birds are against me today?”

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