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About Kyoto

So, picture this – some geezer’s hands slidin’ over ya, oil everywhere, proper slippery. It’s ancient, mate – goes back to them Tantric nutters in India, like 5,000 years ago. Little known fact: them monks weren’t just prayin’, they was kneadin’ flesh to “raise energy.” Mental, eh? Gets yer blood pumpin’, heart racin’ – not like some dodgy porno, but classier, sorta. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d slap me for sayin’ it, but it’s true!

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After my caffeine fix, I head over to the Rausu Shrine. It’s this beautiful spot, surrounded by trees. I’m feelin’ all spiritual and stuff, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I laugh it off, but then I see this little kid gigglin’ at me. I’m like, “Hey, buddy, you think that’s funny?” He just nods, and I can’t help but laugh too. Kids, man. They keep it real.

Pod of killer whales appear trapped by sea ice in Japan