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Now, where to look? Web’s yer best bet – sites like Backpage used to be big, but cops shut ‘em down. Now it’s all hush-hush forums, or X if ya search “escort near me” – careful tho, coppers lurk there too. Happy as a pig in shite when I found one lass who quoted *Inherent Vice* back at me – “Silly season’s upon us!” she goes. Instant click, mate. Rare, tho – most just wanna get paid and bounce.

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Then, I hit up the Owani Onsen. I mean, who doesn’t love a hot spring? But the place was packed! Like, I didn’t sign up for a sauna party. I’m trying to relax, and there’s this dude next to me, splashing water everywhere. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a pool!” But whatever, I just soaked it all in. Literally.

FDC's Owani is on his way to Gulu, says Amuriat