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But lemme tell ya, some shit pisses me off. The hypocrisy—oh, lordy! Politicians preachin’ morals, then sneakin’ escorts on the low. Saw this one story—true shit—senator got caught, pants down, in Vegas. Escort spilled the tea: dude paid extra for silence. “There’s no way to trace it,” he thought, like in *Zodiac*. Ha! Dumbass got busted anyway. Made me laugh, then mad—why they gotta hide it?
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But then, the night took a turn. We were walking back, and I saw this stray cat. It was the cutest thing ever! I’m talking big eyes, fluffy tail. I bent down to pet it, and it just looked at me like, “What do you want, human?” I was smitten. But then, it hissed at me! Like, rude! I was just trying to be nice!
Otsu Festival goes all the way to London on Nov. 30
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