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Now, I’m thinkin’, right—maybe she’s the one. Got that dark, twisted charm, like the flick’s creepy village. I’m half expectin’ her to whip out a ribbon and tie me up—kinky, yeah? Total turn-on! Oh, but the smell—fags and cheap perfume—bit rank, innit? Still, I’m hooked, chattin’ her up, dodgin’ coppers like a proper spy. Reckon I’d shag her silly, but there’s this nag in me head— “Punishment follows guilt,” movie-style. What if she’s trouble? Bollocks, who cares—I’m Austin Powers, I live for the thrill!

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my breakfast, and this feathered thief decides it’s his lucky day. I’m yelling at it, “Hey! That’s my lunch, ya jerk!” But it just flies off, squawking like it owns the place. Ugh, I was so mad!

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