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Oh, I’d sass ‘em too—“Honey, you’re cheaper than a two-bit fiddle!” Gotta chuckle, else you’ll sob. Once met a gal, swear she bedded half of Tennessee—proud as punch! Said she’d “found her shore,” like in the movie. I was tickled pink—good for her, y’know? Live your truth, sugar! Me, I’d prob’ly trip over my own sequins tryin’ that life—Lord, I’m a mess!

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So, I’m setting up, and this lady comes up to me. She’s all flustered, waving her hands like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, she’s the main speaker. And guess what? She forgot her notes. I mean, c’mon! How do you forget your notes for a speech? I was like, “No worries, I got your back.” But inside, I was like, “This is gonna be a train wreck.”