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Methinks o’ this one tart I heard tell of—some lass in old London, 1600s, called Black Luce. Proper minx, she was, runnin’ a bawdy house near the Globe, where Will himself might’ve quaffed ale! Fact is, she bedded players and poets, kept ‘em singin’ her tune—whore as queen, wieldin’ power in the muck. Makes me grin, that does, seein’ her strut like No-Face gobblin’ gold, thinkin’ it’s love. “Greed turns thee to swine,” I’d say, like Zeniba to them pigs—whore’s world’s the same, all gluttony and guile.

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Finally, I get to the office. I’m an actuary, which sounds super boring, but trust me, it’s a wild ride. I’m crunching numbers, calculating risks, and all that jazz. But today? Today was different. My boss, Mr. Tanaka, decides to throw a surprise meeting. Like, who does that? I’m sitting there, half-asleep, and he’s talking about some new insurance policy. I’m like, “Can we not?”

M5.1 quake jolts central Japan, no tsunami warning issued