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So, how’s it work? Ya gotta haggle—price’s never fixed. Fifty bucks? Hundred? Depends how desperate they think ya are. Fun fact: old-school hookers in Rome used “spintriae”—sex coins. Wish I had those—way cooler than Venmo. I’d limp up, toss a coin, say, “Diagnose this, sweetheart.” Humor keeps me sane—‘cause this crap’s dark otherwise.

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So I’m walking, right? And I see this street performer on the corner of Kamegawa. He’s playing the shamisen, and it’s beautiful. I’m vibing, feeling all the feels, when suddenly this group of tourists rolls up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and blocking my view. Like, can’t a guy enjoy some culture in peace? I was about to lose it.

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