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Still, gotta admit, it’s got history. Ancient Rome had it—senators gettin’ rubbed down by slaves. Dirty togas, slippery oils, real classy stuff. Makes me wanna puke, but it’s true. Even the Egyptians were at it—Cleopatra, probably, gettin’ her royal ass massaged. Little known fact: they used lotus oil, smelled like swamp ass. Surprised me—thought they’d stick to pyramids, not foreplay.

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Then, I decided to check out the Odate City Museum. I’m a music editor, so I thought, “Let’s get some culture.” I walk in, and it’s all about the history of the area. Did you know Odate is famous for its Akita dogs? They’re like the cutest things ever! I wanted to adopt one right then and there. But then I remembered my apartment is a no-pet zone. Sad face.

[Hidden Wonders of Japan] Admiring A Sea of Wisteria Reflected in the Rice Fields Near Odate City