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Like, literally, oh my god, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m Kim K, duh, and I’m totes obsessed with “Holy Motors,” that freaky movie by Leos Carax. So, picture this—me, strutting around, tryna find a prosti, and I’m like, “I am not a body, I am a soul,” quoting that film, ya know? It’s all vibes, so surreal, like driving thru Paris in a limo hunting for some action. I’m, like, texting my girls, “Where’s the spot?” and they’re all, “Kimmy, chill, it’s shady af!”

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Otemachi Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my brew, feelin’ all zen, when this dude walks in. He’s got a surfboard under his arm, like he just strolled off the beach. I’m thinkin’, “Bro, it’s 8 AM. Chill.” But he’s all hyped, talkin’ about some gnarly waves at Numazu Beach. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a machinist, not a surfer.” But I can’t help but smile. His energy’s contagious.

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